Anyway - Summary! The episode starts with Blanche, Rose and Dorothy bringing their bags to the front door for what is to be a fabulous tropical vacation. Dorothy is obviously worried about leaving her decrepit mother alone and tries one final time to convince her to join them. She denies as she has ulterior motives - romancing the Asian gardener - gasp! I don't remember his name, but I do remember that she lured him into the house by complimenting him on his slug extermination skills and a glass of tang. mmmm tang. he takes her up on the tang and a romance is on the horizon. Meanwhile, the ladies show up at their tropical paradise hotel, which is very stupid and ugly and only has one bed. Really, Rose? You couldn't fucking specify that you needed more than one bed to your travel agent? REALLY? idiot.
So let me describe the room for a moment. Or not. I guess the only funny thing about the room was the vibrating bed. Blanche (of course) inserted a coin and there was a loud alarm. A man busted through the door and began to shake the bed with his foot while singing Guantanamera. And it gets worse. The bathroom, they soon find out is SHARED. With 3 young men who are ageist. Thats right. I said it. Later they bond over the hotel's horrific accommodations and invite the ladies on a sailboat cruise. Now, I originally thought, this is when it is going to get exciting! Surely this will be the young men's attempt to murder the 3 bitchy old ladies and throw them overboard. Foolish Allie! I forgot that it was the 80s! Every boat in the 80s either had an activities director a la the Love Boat, ended up on a stranded island, or was getting ripped apart by a shark. So. they are stranded. This is where we see our first glimpse of Assertive Rose. Rose who knows the outdoors and she explained why but I kinda lose interest so I can't really tell you what that was all about but one could probably guess that it has something to do with that goddamn St. Olaf. Rose sends the boys off to find water while she makes a fire out of denture cream and depends. just kidding, I stopped paying attention at that part also. there was some deep emotional part, but my 12 year old son came in the room, blocked my view to the tv, started to do some high kicks and jumps screaming "give me a "B"! Give me an "A" give me a "B" give me an "A"! Whats that spell? BABA! BABA! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay BABA!"
he is strange.
so I missed that part. next thing I know is that the boys come back with...cocktails complete with umbrellas! there happens to be a Hilton on the other side of the island and....The boys even made them reservations! Hurray!
OK. cultural relevance time. I am a big fan of Priceline, bidding on hotels with ridiculously low prices. I typically make sure that I click the 3 stars and up button because who wants to stay in a shanty? Well, needless to say, I erred and clicked on "1 star hotel" and my bid of $45 was accepted. They DID upgrade me to a 2 star hotel, however, which in Pittsburgh translates to an extended stay america right off the toll road. with one queen bed. not gonna happen. However, and now this makes me seem less generous, a friend of mine in Pittsburgh lives in an absolute migraine maker of a house with 2 roommates, one child and a little dog and a huge dog. So she was happy to take a free hotel room off my hands. So then I had the pain in the ass of doing the whole thing again to get the hotel that we always stay in, some Marriot in Monroeville. thank god. I don't like experiencing new things that I will have to sleep in.
The hellacious hotel the Rose booked was arranged through a travel agent who recommended that she pay for everything up front. Oy! I am 31 and have used a travel agent ONCE. For my honeymoon because I didn't want to deal with that crap on top of, you know, the panic associated with attaching yourself to someone for LIFE.
Anyway. Maybe Rose was on to something. Travel Agents are coming back! http://www.travelweekly.com/Travel-News/Travel-Agent-Issues/Consumer-media-discover-that-travel-agents-do-still-exist/ Apparently people don't like booking 2 hotels to get one suitable to stay in. huh. imagine that. Oh, and embarrassingly enough I have done this more than once! HA! crack kills.
Isn't it funny to think of Rose booking a vacation on Expedia? the computer she would have used would have looked a little something like this:
PLUS Al Gore didn't even INVENT the internet yet, so really the whole thing is preposterous. What is that thing above the keyboard? a built in fan? an air conditioning vent?
Anyway. What do you think? travel agent? internet?
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